


This Life Of Ours

by velvetjinx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Backless Panties, Birthday Sex, Bucky Barnes' 100th birthday, Eighties europop, Fluff, Humor, Instagram, Jealous Tony, M/M, Past Character Death, Shameless Smut, Steve Rogers's Birthday, Suicide mention, Tattoos, Therapy, description of getting tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-10-19 18:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10645791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetjinx/pseuds/velvetjinx
Summary: Steve and Bucky live together in New York after Steve found him post-Sokovia. These are some stories from their lives together.





	1. Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> These are a collection of ficlets in the same canon divergent alternate universe that I've been posting on my tumblr. 
> 
> Chapter 1 based on [this post](http://velvetjinx.tumblr.com/post/156576753407/yoonminxtaekook-so-i-was-at-the-library-and-i)

Steve is sitting in the library, catching up on his reading from all the years he was in the ice, when Bucky breezes in, sitting next to Steve and pulling him in for a brief kiss. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Bucky asks, and Steve holds up his book so Bucky can read the title: _The History of Rock & Roll, Volume 1: 1920-1963_. “Oh my god, you’re actually studying. You know you don’t actually need to know everything that happened while you were on ice, right?”

“I know,” Steve sighs. “But it makes me feel less disconnected.”

“Well, you’re what makes me feel less disconnected,” Bucky smiles. “Steve, I love you. No homo, though.”

Steve stares at Bucky for a moment. “Bucky, we are _literally dating_ ,” he says after a pause. 

“Yeah? So?”

Steve purses his lips, trying not to laugh. “Do you know what ‘no homo’ means, Bucky?”

“Well, yeah, of course I do.” At Steve’s raised eyebrow, Bucky relents. “Okay maybe not, but I heard some guy say it to another so I figured it was something romantic.”

“Oh, babe,” Steve says, chuckling as quietly as he can so as not to get thrown out of the library. “Oh babe, you are so amazing but no, it’s not romantic. It means you don’t want to be thought of as gay.”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “Oh! Then what’s the opposite of that?”

Steve shrugs. “I don’t know. Full homo?”

“Then I love you, Steve. _Full homo_.“

Steve can’t help but grin. “I love you full homo too, Buck. You wanna get out of here? Maybe catch a movie?”

“I don’t know - don’t want to cut into your _studying_ …“ Bucky laughs, and Steve pushes him on the shoulder. 

“Asshole. Come on, let me check this out and then we can get out of here.”

“Hey, Steve…” Steve looks back to where Bucky is standing, looking uncertain. “You’re not gonna, like, tell anyone about this, are you?”

“Of course not,” Steve lies. 

Natasha is going to laugh her ass off.


	2. Steve's Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this amazing piece of art ](http://velvetjinx.tumblr.com/post/157107445522/certifiedsinbin-i-saw-backless-panties-at-vs)by certifiedsinbin whose art actually gives me life y'all don’t even know.

Steve sometimes can’t believe how much has changed since he went into the ice. It doesn’t bother him, exactly, but certain things - technology and medicine, for example - have come on leaps and bounds, and he loves it. 

But then there’s the other surprising stuff, like, for example, lingerie stores. Before he went into the ice, underwear wasn’t exactly something that was usually displayed in store fronts. Nowadays, however…

He’s passing one such store when something in the window display catches his eye. They’re light blue, frilly, and…

“Backless panties?” he chuckles to himself. “What will they think of next?”

He walks on, going about his day, but the image of the blue panties keeps springing into his mind. He pushes it away - it’s not like he has any lady friends he’d feel comfortable buying them for - but the thought persists. 

He meets Natasha for coffee at their usual spot, and he tells her about them, marvelling again that they were just in a window, where anyone could see them. 

“Do women really wear those kinds of things?” he laughs, and Natasha grins at him. 

“Not just women, Steve.”

“Huh?” Steve stares at her in shock, and she laughs. 

“Oh come on, you’re telling me that no men in your day would have worn women’s panties for a thrill? I don’t believe it.”

“That’s…I wouldn’t know…” And now Steve is feeling flustered, which he doesn’t usually, even with Nat, but he can’t help but wonder what Bucky would say if he saw Steve wearing those. He can’t stop the flush spreading across his cheeks, and of course Nat notices if her smirk is anything to go by, but thankfully she drops the subject and talks about something else. 

His walk back to his apartment takes him past the same lingerie store and he pauses outside the window, before making a snap decision and going inside. 

The store is airy and well lit, with racks and racks of underwear, ranging from the sedate to the seductive. Steve peruses the racks before finally finding what he was looking for. He flicks through them until he finds the right size, and holds them up, trying to make up his mind. 

“Can I help you, sir?” a voice asks from behind him, making him jump. 

“Uh, n-no, thank you, just browsing,” he stammers quickly, but the assistant seems completely unfazed, simply smiling and nodding before she goes over to help someone else. 

He turns back to the panties consideringly, then smiles. After all, why not?

***

When he gets back to the apartment, Bucky is nowhere to be found, but there’s a hastily scribbled note on the counter that says “Gone to get groceries - back soon x” and Steve smiles. He goes through to the bedroom and strips off his jeans and boxers, then takes the panties out of their bag. He pulls off the tag, then slips them on. He has to adjust a little bit and do some creative tucking as the tight lacy fabric presses snug against his cock and balls, but soon they’re on as comfortably as they’re going to be. He’s pretty sure they’re not going to be on him that long anyway, and he smiles to himself. 

He puts his jeans back on over the top and grabs the bag and tag, scrunching them up and throwing them in the trash. He sits on the sofa and puts on the tv, trying to distract himself from the pressure around his groin from his new underwear, because fuck, it’s actually kind of turning him on. But he thinks cold thoughts and manages to calm himself down enough that he can sit still and concentrate on the tv. There’s some comedy show on, and though it isn’t that funny it’s something to watch. 

It’s only about ten minutes later when the door opens and Bucky walks in, a brown paper back with groceries in his hand. 

“Hey, did you get my note?” Bucky asks, and Steve nods. Bucky smiles at him and goes into the kitchen with the bag, and Steve can hear him whistling as he puts the groceries away. 

When he comes back through to the living room he flops down onto the sofa beside Steve, leaning in for a quick kiss, but as he goes to pull back Steve cups his cheek and draws him back in, moaning as Bucky opens up to him and their tongues tangle together. 

“Fuck, Bucky, want you to fuck me,” Steve moans, feeling his cock start to harden at the thought, and he wonders what the panties look like now, getting stretched out. 

Bucky doesn’t reply in words, just gets up and pulls Steve to his feet before dragging him through to the bedroom. Bucky strips quickly and climbs onto the bed, looking at Steve expectantly. Steve smirks, then starts to slowly pull of his tshirt, teasing around the hem before lifting it over his head. He reaches down and pulls off his socks, then pauses at the fly of his jeans, suddenly nervous. 

“I, uh. I bought a surprise for you today,” he says, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, and he sees Bucky’s eyes track the movement. 

“Oh, you did, huh? Can I see it?”

Steve nods, and pushes his jeans down before kicking them off. Bucky’s eyes widen at the sight of the panties, and Steve looks down, seeing his own hard cock pressing out the waistband. He adjusts himself so his cock is pressed firm against his stomach, and Bucky is looking at him, pupils blown wide with want. 

“Gimme a twirl, Steve, baby,” Bucky bites out. “Want to see what your ass looks like in lace.”

“Uh. Actually,” Steve begins, but figures Bucky will see for himself so he turns slowly around. Bucky makes a strangled noise, and Steve looks over his shoulder to see Bucky laying on the bed, his hand pressing against his cock. 

“Fuck, Steve, _backless panties_?” Bucky moans, and Steve nods, turning back around. 

“Do you like them?” Steve asks, suddenly shy, and Bucky’s response is to climb off of the bed and haul him into a deep kiss. 

“I’m gonna fuck you while you’re wearing them, Steve, jesus, you turn me on so much.” Bucky eyes him thoughtfully. “Wait here.” Steve watches as Bucky goes over to the bedside cabinet and gets out the lube, before coming back over and kissing him again. 

“How do you want me?” Steve asks teasingly, and Bucky’s response is to bend him over so that he’s bent over the bed, his cock rubbing on the sheets, and Bucky positions himself behind him, pouring lube over his fingers. 

Then Bucky’s pushing in two fingers at once and Steve gasps at the sensation. “Can’t fucking wait to be inside you,” Bucky groans. “Fuck your tight ass while you’re wearing these panties, does that turn you on as much as it does me?”

“Oh god, Buck, yes, _fuck_ ,” Steve moans, as Bucky stretches him out before adding a third finger. It’s too much too soon and yet not enough at the same time, and Steve whines, wanting more, wanting _Bucky_. 

Soon enough Bucky is pulling out his fingers and slicking up his cock, and then Steve feels blunt pressure as Bucky pushes inside. 

“God, babydoll, look at you, I can just slide right in…” Bucky huffs out as he presses his cock deeper inside of Steve. 

“You like that, Buck?” Steve asks, and Bucky laughs. 

“I fucking love it.” And then he’s fully inside, and Steve has to catch his breath as he adjusts to the familiar feel of Bucky inside of him. 

After a few moments the pressure eases, and Steve pushes back against Bucky. 

“Fucking move,” he manages, and Bucky starts to fuck him slowly, drawing his cock almost all the way out of Steve’s ass before pushing back in. It’s a goddamn tease, and Steve growls. “I said _fuck me_ , or is that too much for you, old man?” he goads him, looking over his shoulder, and Bucky narrows his eyes before grabbing Steve’s hips and starting to pound into him. 

Steve can’t help the moan this draws from him, especially when Bucky shifts angles so he’s hitting that spot inside him with every thrust. His cock is rubbing against the bed and the lace of the panties as he’s pushed forward as Bucky fucks him, and it feels so fucking good. He reaches down and starts stroking himself, and it’s not long before he feels the need to come building, and gasps. 

“Oh god, Buck, Bucky, fuck, I’m gonna come, you’re gonna make me come…”

“Do it, Steve, come for me, baby, come on, wanna see you,” Bucky moans, and all it takes is a few more moments before Steve groans out Bucky’s name as he comes all over his fist and the sheets. 

He lays there, face down on the bed, completely fucked out, Bucky’s movements sending aftershocks through him. Then Bucky lets out a garbled curse and stills as he comes, his hands gripping Steve’s hips so tight Steve is pretty sure he’ll leave bruises. 

Then Bucky pulls out of him carefully with a laugh, peeling the panties off of Steve before pulling him up to kiss him. “Jesus, Steve, can’t believe you wore those, fuck,” Bucky chuckles against his mouth, and Steve grins. 

“If you’re very good, I’ll wear them again for you some time.”

“You promise?” Bucky asks with a glint in his eye, and Steve nods vigorously. 

“Maybe I’ll even wear them when we go out one day, so all you’ll be able to think about is me in them and what you’re going to do to me when we get home.”

Bucky’s response is to kiss him again, and Steve smiles into the kiss. He should probably get Nat some flowers or something for this, and will take great pleasure in telling her why when she asks. It’s definitely her turn to get flustered.


	3. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: rimming, Steve wears the backless panties again, but all day to drive Bucky crazy, spoiler alert: it works, featuring a very patient Nat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again based on [ this art](http://velvetjinx.tumblr.com/post/157107445522/certifiedsinbin-i-saw-backless-panties-at-vs) by certifiedsinbin because I literally can’t stop thinking about it. 

Steve can’t stop smirking as they leave the apartment on their way to meet Nat for coffee. Bucky keeps giving him questioning looks, but Steve isn’t telling. Not until Bucky questions him directly. 

They’re on the subway, and finally Bucky can’t take it any more. 

“Okay, I give. What are you looking so smug about today?”

Steve grins and leans in to murmur in Bucky’s ear. “Remember those backless panties?” Bucky nods, and Steve can see the way his pupils expand as he thinks about just how vividly he remembers them. “Well I’m wearing them right now.”

Bucky turns to him and gapes, and Steve winks at him. If he’s honest, they’re not the most comfortable underwear he’s ever worn, but it’s worth it to see the flush that creeps up Bucky’s cheeks. 

“Fuck, Steve, are you serious?” Bucky groans quietly, and Steve nods. 

“They’re really tight against my cock,” he whispers. “They keep rubbing against me and it’s kind of turning me on.”

“Jesus,” Bucky laughs hoarsely. 

“But the best part is knowing that you’re going to fuck me again in them later. I mean, you _are_ going to, right?”

Bucky looks at him with heat in his gaze, and Steve is pretty sure if they weren’t on a crowded subway that Bucky would have pounced on him by now. But they are, so he doesn’t, and the next stop is theirs. 

When they meet Nat they both give her a hug and kiss on the cheek, and then sit down. The panties chafe against him slightly uncomfortably, and Steve shifts in his seat. Bucky looks at him like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and bites his lip. 

Nat seems oblivious to all of this as she chats about what’s been happening with her recently, and Steve nods along, only half listening because Bucky is now rubbing Steve’s calf with his foot. At length, Nat pauses and looks between them. 

“Have either of you heard even a single word I’ve said?” she asks, her tone half amused, half exasperated. 

“Of course,” Bucky replies, and reels off her last sentence verbatim. 

“Hmm.” Nat looks at them with narrowed eyes, and Steve and Bucky both look back innocently. “Well, whatever, you both need to come shopping with me because I saw something that I’m pretty sure Tony would hate so I should probably get him that for his birthday.”

“You don’t want to get him something he’d, I don’t know, actually like?” Bucky laughs, hooking his foot around Steve’s and tugging slightly. 

Nat waves a hand dismissively. “He’s a billionaire - he’s already got everything he likes. So I always get him something I know he’ll hate, and then he puts it somewhere that everyone can see it for as long as he can stand. He has a shelf in one of his closets which I think is the ‘junk from Natasha’ shelf.”

Steve shakes his head. “You guys really do have an interesting friendship.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t want him to think I actually _like_ him, you know?” Nat grins. “So if you guys have finished your coffee…?”

Steve and Bucky both nod and they stand to go, and Steve squirms a little uncomfortably as it seems something has…slipped. 

“Just gonna use the bathroom first,” he says, and walks as quickly as he can into the coffee shop. He goes into one of the bathroom stalls and drops his pants, reaching down to rearrange and re-tuck himself into the panties. His cock is half hard, and jumps when he touches it, and he bites back a groan. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. But then he thinks of Bucky’s eyes when he’d told him what he was wearing, and thinks about what Bucky is going to do to him when they get home, and on second thoughts? Definitely worth it. 

He washes his hands quickly then goes back out to meet Bucky and Nat, smiling wide when he sees Bucky bite his lip. 

Luckily their shopping trip doesn’t take long - Nat’s idea for Tony’s birthday this year turns out to be a truly hideous shirt, and both Steve and Bucky laugh themselves silly over the thought of Tony wearing it. Nat has things to do after - things about which she is deliberately vague, so Steve assumes it has something to do with a guy - so they say goodbye and head back to the subway. 

The ride home is full of anticipation for Steve, but he tries not to think about it because the pants he’s wearing don’t exactly hide much. But finally they’re unlocking the door of their apartment, and as soon as they’re inside and the door is closed Bucky is shoving him up against the wall and kissing him breathless. 

“Fuck, Steve, do you have any idea what you’ve been doing to me all day?” he bites out between kisses, and Steve grins, bringing a hand down to squeeze gently at Bucky’s hardening cock. 

“You been hard for me all day, baby?”

Bucky laughs. “Fucking nearly. Had to think about some seriously gross shit so that I wasn’t. Every time I thought about you wearing those panties under your clothes, fuck, Steve, wanna see them.”

Steve grabs Bucky’s hand and drags him through to the bedroom, and as soon as they’re in there they both start to strip off. Bucky’s done first and he immediately goes to help Steve, running his hands over Steve’s ass before undoing his pants and pushing them down. Steve kicks them off and then Bucky’s hands are back on his ass, running over the bare skin and pulling gently at the lacy bits of the panties, then easing into his asscrack to run gently over his hole. 

Steve whines, and Bucky kisses him. “Shh, baby, you know I’ll take care of you. Hands and knees on the bed.”

Steve does as he’s told as Bucky gets the lube out of the bedside cabinet, before climbing on the bed behind Steve. 

“Fuck, Steve, wish you could see yourself,” Bucky groans, then bends down, pulling Steve’s asscheeks apart and blowing over his hole. Steve whines as Bucky leans in and starts nipping and sucking around his hole, teasing him, now and again sucking at his balls. Steve reaches down to adjust his hard cock so it’s pressed under the waistband of the panties instead of stretching them out, and at that moment Bucky starts to tongue at his hole, making his cock jerk and leak in his hand. 

“Jesus, Buck, don’t stop, fuck, keep going,” Steve gasps, and Bucky laughs, starting to jab his tongue inside. Steve takes his hand off his cock, knowing that if he doesn’t this is going to be over way too soon, as it always is when Bucky rims him. He can hear himself whining as Bucky tonguefucks him open and can’t bring himself to care as long as Bucky keeps doing that. 

“God, babydoll, you’re so fucking hot in those panties,” Bucky says hoarsely, dropping a kiss on Steve’s tailbone. “So hot that I can eat you out while you’re wearing them, fuck.”

Steve loses track of time in a haze of pleasure, as Bucky alternates between sucking, nipping, licking and fucking him. When Bucky finally pulls back Steve whimpers, pushing his ass back, trying to get more. But then there’s the slick sound of lube, and Bucky is pressing two fingers inside of him, making him moan. 

Bucky takes his time opening him up, only adding a third finger when Steve is begging him, “fuck, Bucky, please, Buck, please I need more, damn you!”

When Bucky crooks his fingers up and hits that spot inside of him Steve lets out a moan that he’s pretty sure can be heard through the walls of his apartment but he can’t bring himself to care because it feels _so fucking good_. Then, finally, Bucky is pulling out his fingers and Steve sticks his ass further in the air. But Bucky pulls on his shoulder until Steve rolls onto his back. 

“Want you to ride me, baby,” he growls, and yeah, Steve is so on board with that. Bucky lays on his back and slicks up his cock with the lube, and then Steve is straddling him, holding his cock in place as he slowly sinks down onto it and ohfuckyeah this is exactly what Steve has been wanting all day, since he put on the damn panties. 

He pauses for a few moments, adjusting to the familiar feel of Bucky inside of him, then starts to move, lifting himself up before dropping back down onto Bucky’s cock. Bucky starts thrusting up into him in counterpoint to Steve’s movements and Steve shifts slightly and oh _fuck_ he can’t help but cry out as Bucky’s cock rubs against his prostate. 

Steve knows he’s not going to last long so he brings a hand down to his cock, but Bucky slaps it away, instead stroking Steve himself, using his metal hand to rub at the base of Steve’s cock through the panties. Then Bucky moves his metal hand down to fondle Steve’s balls through the rough material and that’s all it takes and Steve is coming hard all over Bucky’s hand and stomach, Bucky’s name on his lips. 

Bucky doesn’t even stop, just grabs Steve’s hips and thrusts into him three, four more times before coming with a groan. Steve grins down at him, totally fucked out, before lifting himself off of Bucky’s softening cock and flopping down beside him. He peels off the panties and throws them across the room with a laugh. 

“Fuck, today was uncomfortable.”

“Worth it, though,” Bucky grins, and Steve grins back. 

“Oh yeah. Totally worth it.”


	4. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: angst, Bucky is still pretty messed up, nightmares, talk of therapy

Sometimes Steve forgets how long he and Bucky were apart. Not that it had been easy - they both still have a lot of nightmares, Bucky more than Steve, and sometimes Bucky will lose himself in his thoughts, guilt overtaking him until Steve kisses him and brings him back to the present. 

They both see a therapist that Sam had recommended. She’s a specialist with working with vets, and she knows their background. Bucky’s been doing a lot better since he started seeing her - better at understanding that the things he did when under Hydra’s control were in no way his fault - but it’s a process. Steve doesn’t think Bucky will ever be entirely rid of his guilt. He’s too good a man to entirely let it go. 

Sometimes Bucky will wake up calling Steve’s name, from dreams where the winter soldier was successful in his last mission. When that happens there’s nothing Steve can do but hold him, murmuring comfort and reassurances. Tonight is one such night, and Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head as he wraps himself around Steve like he needs to convince himself that Steve is really there. 

“It’s just a dream, Buck,” Steve murmurs into Bucky’s hair. “You rescued me, remember? You stopped yourself and you rescued me.”

“I know, but…what if I hadn’t? What if I’d just left you there to die?”

Steve sighs, wrapping his arms around Bucky tighter. “But you didn’t. I’m here because you remembered, and you stopped yourself. You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that never happened.”

Bucky sighs. “I know, but I can’t help it. When I think of how I shot you…”

“Eh, I got better,” Steve laughs. 

“This isn’t funny, Steve! I put you in hospital!”

Steve can sense his rising hysteria and runs his hands soothingly over Bucky’s back. “That wasn’t you. Not really. You know that. The part that was you is the part that rescued me, that wouldn’t leave me to drown.”

Bucky lets out a shuddering breath. “It’s just. I killed so many innocent people, you know? And you could have been one more.”

“Do you think it would be helpful for you if we went to Sam’s vets meeting again? There’s one tomorrow. We could stop by, hear some stories, just so you know you’re not completely alone.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do that.”

“I’ll call Sam first thing in the morning to let him know we’ll be there. But now you need to try and sleep, okay?”

Bucky nods, snuggling into Steve’s side with his head on Steve’s chest. Steve doesn’t sleep until he’s sure Bucky is deep in slumber, and only then will he let himself drift off. 

***

Sam is pleased to see them, as always, and grins when Steve hugs him. 

“I love when you come along to these meetings and make me look good,” Sam laughs. 

“Yeah, well, anything for a friend,” Steve replies. 

Sam hugs Bucky too, and Bucky hugs him back carefully. He’s not tactile with a lot of people - Steve, of course, and Nat, and Sam are really the only ones he’ll touch voluntarily. It’s almost as though he’s still getting used to touching people again and it breaks Steve’s heart. 

They go into the room, and there’s some murmurs among the group as they spot Steve. He and Bucky sit in two spare seats up at the front, and Steve can see that Bucky’s anxious. He’s been to these meetings before but never got up himself, and Steve wonders what’s going through his head. 

The meeting gets going, and a couple of people have spoken. Then, when Sam asks who’s next, Bucky puts his hand up. Steve looks at him in surprise, and Bucky gives him a small smile. 

“It’s okay,” he says softly. “I want to do this. I _need_ to do this.”

Steve nods and Bucky gets up to the podium. 

“Uh, hi everyone,” he begins. “My name is Bucky.”

“Hello, Bucky,” the group choruses, and he smiles. 

“I saw a lot of fighting, and that was bad enough, but then I was captured,” Bucky continues, his voice unsteady. “My captors…they brainwashed me. Made me do things. Terrible things that I can never atone for. This went on for more years than I’d care to think about. I’d probably still be there, still be as lost as I was, if I hadn’t been saved a couple of years ago by that guy there.” Bucky points to Steve, and Steve smiles at him encouragingly. “But I still have nightmares about it all. Things that happened, things that could have happened - all of it. Sometimes I feel like there aren’t enough "sorry"s in the world for what I did. I’m in therapy, and my therapist tells me that what I did wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like it was because I still did those things. And maybe one day I’ll heal enough to accept what she’s telling me, but for now all I can do is rely on the support of those around me when I have bad days.” Bucky takes a deep breath, and nods abruptly. “Thanks,” he finishes, and gets down from the podium. 

When he sits back down next to Steve he’s shaking slightly, and Steve grabs his hand and squeezes slightly. “You did good,” he murmurs, and Bucky shoots him a small smile. 

Sam gets up and takes the podium. “Thank you, Bucky. I think that’s the hardest thing to learn, is to live with the things we do in times of war. Whether we do them of our own free will or not, somehow you have to accept that what’s done is done, and move on. You have to learn to live with yourself and what you did, or you’ll never know peace.”

Afterwards there is coffee, and a few people come up to Bucky, telling him how brave he was for getting up and talking about what was done to him. After the second person has done this he starts to relax again, enough that he can joke around with Steve and Sam. 

When they leave, they’re half way to the apartment when Steve pulls Bucky into a hug. 

“What was that for?” Bucky asks, laughing. 

“I just. I’m so proud of you, you know?”

“It was just a small meeting,” Bucky responds, clearly embarrassed, but Steve isn’t letting him away with that. 

“It was a group of people, and you got up and talked about what Hydra did to you. That took a lot of guts, and I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” But Steve can tell Bucky is quite pleased for all that. 

That night, Bucky wakes up sobbing, and it takes Steve a full ten minutes to calm him down enough to talk about it. 

“It was all of them,” Bucky manages through his tears. “All of them, in a crowd, just looking at me, every person that I killed. And you were front and centre, pointing at me, because I’d killed you too.”

“It’s okay, Buck. I’m here,” Steve murmurs into his hair as Bucky dissolves into tears again. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, and I love you, okay? We’re going to get through this.”

Bucky nods and sniffles, grabbing a tissue off the bedside cabinet and blowing his nose loudly. “I’m sorry I’m so broken now,” he says softly, not looking at Steve. Steve sits up and pulls him into a hug, before kissing him. 

“Never apologise to me for this, okay? And you’re not broken. We all have a few cracks. And I love you because of everything you are, not in spite of any of it, so don’t even start.”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“I don’t know, but it must have been something _awesome_ ,” Steve laughs, and Bucky smiles. “There we go. What they did to you - Buck, it’s going to take some time to heal. But you’ll get there. I know you will.”

Bucky kisses him again, and their kisses quickly grow heated. They slide down the bed until they’re laying down again facing each other, and Steve can feel Bucky’s cock hardening against his own. 

“What do you want, Buck?” he murmurs against Bucky’s mouth, pressing against him, and Bucky moans. 

“Need you to fuck me, Steve. Need you inside me, I just need to _feel_.”

“I’ve got you, baby,” Steve responds, and shifts so he can grab the lube from the bedside cabinet. They rearrange themselves so Bucky is on his back under Steve, a pillow under his hips, and Steve coats his fingers in lube before reaching down to play with Bucky’s asshole. 

He teases for long enough that Bucky whacks him on the arm and complains, “Will you just fucking get on with it?”, and Steve laughs, slowly pushing a finger inside. Bucky brings a hand down and starts stroking himself slowly as Steve adds a second finger and begins stretching him open, using his free hand to fondle Bucky’s balls. He crooks his fingers up, looking for the right spot, until, “Holy fucking shit _Steve_ ,” he finds it and begins to stroke it mercilessly. 

Bucky takes his hand off his cock, which is leaking precome almost constantly onto his stomach, and laughs. “Fuck, Steve, I’m close, will you just fuck me now?”

Steve shakes his head as he adds a third finger. “Gotta open you up first,” he grins, but he does take pity on his boyfriend and stops playing with his balls, concentrating on stretching him open. 

Finally, he deems Bucky to be ready, and pulls his fingers out carefully. He grabs the lube and slicks up his cock, before positioning himself. 

“Yeah?” he asks, and Bucky nods as Steve starts to push inside. Bucky’s eyes go wide as Steve pushes in slowly until his hips are flush against Bucky’s ass, then Bucky lets out a long shuddering breath. 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good inside me,” Bucky moans. 

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, yeah, Steve. Okay, you can move now,” he says, and Steve does, fucking him slow and deep, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. He keeps up this pace for a while, Bucky’s hands clutching his shoulders, occasionally leaning down to kiss him. Then Steve shifts his hips slightly and Bucky’s fingers bite into his skin as he hits that spot inside of him. 

“Fuck, Steve, fucking fuck me hard,” Bucky gasps out, and Steve grins down at him, speeding up his thrusts, fucking him fast and hard and deep. Bucky moves his hips up to meet him, bringing a hand down to stroke his own cock, then “fuck, Steve, coming, _fuck_ ,” Bucky comes, cock spurting all over his fist and stomach. Steve tries to hold on but Bucky’s muscles clenching around him are too much and he thrusts in once more before coming hard. 

He leans down to kiss Bucky as he pulls out carefully, before flopping down beside him. Bucky grabs a tissue from beside the bed and wipes himself down, then snuggles in to Steve’s side, his head on Steve’s chest. 

“Good?” Steve asks, kissing the top of Bucky’s messy head. 

“Amazing,” Bucky yawns, wrapping his arm over Steve’s chest. 

“Think you can get back to sleep now?”

“Mhm,” is Bucky’s sleepy reply, and Steve holds him until they both fall asleep. 

***

Things don’t get better right away. Steve knows it’s going to take a while. But slowly, slowly, Bucky is having fewer nightmares, and Steve knows they’ll get there. 

All they need is a little patience, and a lot of love. And love is never going to be a problem with the two of them.


	5. A Day At The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: nostalgia, for the boys not for me, fluff, smut, featuring Natasha, I have never been to the beach in question so there we go

The next time they meet up with Nat, she nudges Bucky with her foot as they sit around their table outside the coffee shop. 

“I hear you got up at one of Sam’s meetings,” she says, and Bucky squirms slightly. 

“Uh, yeah.”

“I think that’s great,” Nat smiles, and Steve beams. 

“He really was awesome.”

“Can we, like, not talk about this?” Bucky says, looking uncomfortable, and Nat pats his hand. 

“Of course. Just…that takes guts. I’m proud of you.” She takes a sip of her coffee and smiles. “So what are you two up to these days? Anything interesting?”

They chat back and forth for a while about their recent exploits as they drink their coffee, and before Steve knows it the coffee is gone and Nat is looking at her watch. 

“Well, as much as I love you boys I have a lunch date, so I’ll see you both later, okay?” She hugs them both and kisses them on the cheek, beating a hasty retreat before Steve can quiz her about who, exactly, this lunch date is with. 

But Steve has his own plans, so he motions to Bucky to follow him as he stands. 

“So are we going back to the apartment now?” Bucky asks, and Steve shakes his head. “Then where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Steve grins. 

“Steve…” Bucky says warily. He’s not great with surprises these days, but Steve knows how to reassure him. He grabs Bucky’s hand and squeezes. 

“You trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Then come on.”

Steve leads him to a familiar train station, and they get to the platform just as a train pulls up. Bucky follows him on, understanding dawning in his eyes. 

“We’re getting the A train,” he laughs. “Are you taking me to Rockaway Beach?”

“Maybe,” Steve teases, his lips quirking. 

“You gonna spend our train fare on hotdogs again?”

“Maybe.”

Bucky outright giggles, and Steve can’t help but smile that he’s made Bucky so happy. They don’t do this kind of thing often - sometimes revisiting the past is more painful than it’s worth - but this place has nothing but good memories for both of them. 

When the train arrives at their stop they walk the short distance to the beach. When they step into the sand, Bucky pauses and looks around in wonder. 

“It’s so different.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs. “I guess I hadn’t realised just how much would have changed.”

“Nah, change is good,” Bucky smiles. “So you gonna impress me with your surfing skills?” 

Steve looks out over the water at all the people surfing, and shudders. “No way. I’d fall off and drown.”

“Oh come on, Mr Super Soldier, I’m pretty sure your balance is amazing,” Bucky laughs. 

“Maybe some other day we’ll bring our swimming gear and both go out there,” Steve grins. 

“My arm would probably rust,” Bucky replies ruefully, and Steve freezes. 

“Oh god, Buck, I didn’t think…”

“Steve. It’s fine. But I’ll happily lay on the beach and watch you make a fool of yourself.”

“Asshole,” Steve laughs, and grabs Bucky’s hand as they walk down the beach together. They grab a couple of hotdogs and eat them as they walk, pointing out what is different and what has stayed the same. It’s mostly change, but Steve is pretty comfortable about that, and he thinks Bucky is too. 

He also thinks he probably will give surfing a try at some point, but he won’t tell Bucky that yet. 

When the hotdogs are finished they sit on the beach together, Steve leaning against Bucky, his arm around Bucky’s waist and his head on Bucky’s shoulder, watching the people in the water. Bucky gives a small sigh and kisses the top of Steve’s head. 

“You okay?” Steve asks, turning his head slightly. 

“Amazing,” Bucky replies, and Steve can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Good day?”

“Definitely. I’m glad we came here.”

They sit there in comfortable silence for an hour, just enjoying each other’s company, until Steve finally sighs. 

“You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Bucky replies, sounding reluctant, but he gets up and pulls Steve up when Steve holds out his hand. “Getting stiff, old man?” Bucky teases him, and Steve knocks their shoulders together. 

“Shut up. You’re a year older than me, so if I’m old, what does that make you?”

Bucky sticks his tongue out at Steve, and suddenly Steve feels sixteen again, no cares in the world and spending time with his best friend. He grabs Bucky’s hand and smiles. 

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

They take the train home, and Steve is surprised just how sleepy he is. He rests his head on Bucky’s shoulder and closes his eyes for a moment, and then Bucky is shaking him awake to get off the train at their stop. 

As soon as they get back into the apartment, Bucky grabs him and kisses him. 

“What was that for?” Steve laughs. 

“Nothing. Just…thanks. For today.”

“Come on, Buck, you don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad you had a good time.” Steve pauses as he yawns and stretches. “Right now, though, I think I need a nap before dinner. Must be all that sea air.”

“Sleepy, baby?”

“Mhm.”

“You sure?” Bucky asks him, crowding into his space and dropping open mouthed kisses on his neck and wow, okay, suddenly Steve is very awake. 

“I could be persuaded to stay awake,” he murmurs, pulling Bucky in for a kiss. Steve moans as the kiss deepens, hands roaming down Bucky’s back to grab his ass. 

“Fuck, okay, bedroom _now_ ,” Bucky growls, grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him through the apartment to their room. As soon as they’re inside they start tearing at each other’s clothes in their hurry to get naked, and when they finally are the feel of bare skin against bare skin makes Steve groan. 

He reaches down to stroke lightly at Bucky’s cock. “What do you want, Buck? Want to fuck me?”

“Fuck yes,” Bucky hisses, and Steve lets go of him and climbs onto the bed. 

“How do you want me?”

“On your back, baby. Want to see you fall apart for me.”

Steve nods and shoves a pillow under his hips as Bucky fetches the lube and clambers onto the bed beside Steve. Steve bites his lip as he watches Bucky slick up his fingers, and Bucky leans up to kiss him as he strokes his fingers across Steve’s asshole. Then Bucky is smirking and sliding down the bed, sucking the head of Steve’s hard cock into his mouth as he pushes in the first finger. 

“Oh jesus Bucky,” Steve curses as he watches his cock disappearing into that warm, wet mouth. Then Bucky adds a second finger as he starts to suck Steve properly, flicking his tongue around the head and pushing it into the slit, and Steve can’t keep watching as his head falls back against the pillow. The next moment he’s glad Bucky is holding his hips down because he starts rubbing that spot inside of Steve and Steve bites down on his arm to stop himself from crying out. 

Bucky keeps sucking him as he works Steve open, stretching him with three fingers until Steve is begging, “oh god please just fuck me now, Bucky, please, need your cock in me, just fuck me, please!” Bucky lets Steve’s cock fall out of his mouth with a wet pop and grins. 

“If that’s what you really want,” he teases, and Steve nods frantically. “Well I guess I’d better fuck you then,” he continues casually, as if Steve can’t feel Bucky’s hard cock leaking against his leg. Bucky shifts and pulls his fingers out, then covers his cock in lube before positioning himself and pushing inside. Steve gasps and claws at Bucky’s back as he’s slowly filled, until he feels Bucky’s hips against his ass, then he takes a deep shuddering breath. 

“Oh god, Buck, you feel so fucking good inside me,” Steve bites out. “Fuck, you can move now, please.”

Bucky leans down and drops a kiss on Steve’s nose, then starts to move, and Steve is pretty sure there’s nothing on earth that feels better than this. Bucky is fucking him slow and deep, occasionally pausing to lean down and kiss him; keeps fucking him like that until it feels like they’re bound together with sweat and spit and lube, and Steve’s heart is full with how much he loves Bucky. 

“Fuck, baby, love you, love you so much, please make me come, please,” Steve gasps out, and Bucky nods, speeding up his hips and changing angle until Steve cries out as Bucky’s cock hits that spot inside him on every thrust. 

“Fuck, Steve, love you, not gonna last, wanna see you touch yourself,” Bucky groans. 

Steve is more than happy to oblige, stroking himself in time with Bucky’s thrusts as the need to come builds and builds until, “fuck, Bucky, coming,” he comes with a cry. 

Bucky keeps thrusting, before crushing his mouth against Steve’s as he comes, cock pulsing inside Steve. They kiss softly as they both come down, then Bucky pulls back smiling, gently pulling out of Steve and flopping down beside him as Steve wipes the cooling come off his stomach with some tissues. 

“Hey,” Bucky grins. 

“Hey. Good day?”

“Best day.”

Steve snuggles in to Bucky’s side, resting his head on Bucky’s chest. It’s a while until dinner after all, and there’s no place on earth he’d rather be.


	6. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Bucky’s 100th birthday fic, rimming, pwp, smut, I am completely shameless

Steve is pretty sure he’s all set. The cake is covered in candles (not quite a hundred; he doesn’t want to have to call the fire department), the banners are up, and the gifts are wrapped prettily with bows and the birthday card on top. All that’s missing is the birthday boy himself, and at that moment Steve hears his key turn in the lock and smiles. 

Bucky walks into the apartment, and looks around, the door closing unheeded behind him. 

“You…Steve, what?”

Steve spreads his arms wide. “Happy birthday, Buck!”

Bucky strides up to him and pulls him into a deep kiss. “Oh my god, Steve, I thought you’d forgotten, you didn’t say anything about it this morning…”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Steve laughs, and Bucky kisses him again. 

The kiss quickly turns heated, and Steve feels Bucky’s hand work its way down his back to his hip, and then round to press against his hardening cock. 

“B-Buck, _fuck_ , what about the cake and the presents?” he stutters out, and Bucky laughs hoarsely. 

“Cake and presents can wait. Want you now.”

He twirls Steve around until he’s facing the wall, then reaches round to undo his jeans. He pulls them and Steve’s boxers down to the floor and Steve steps out of them. He feels Bucky drop to the floor behind him, and then before Steve can ask what he’s doing Bucky spreads his asscheeks and licks a stripe from his balls up over his hole. 

Steve moans as Bucky works him open with his tongue, occasionally pulling back to nip and suck around his hole until his cock is hard and leaking precome. He looks over his shoulder to the sight of Bucky’s face buried in his ass and nearly bites through his lip. 

Then Bucky is standing up and kissing him, pulling back to stick his hand deep in his pocket and emerging with a sachet of lube. He undoes his own jeans and pushes them and his underwear down, then slicks up his fingers and presses two inside Steve’s ass, and Steve honest-to-god whines at the feeling. He folds his arms against the wall and leans his head against them as Bucky works him open, now and again dropping a kiss on his shoulder. 

By the time Bucky adds a third finger Steve is getting impatient, and cries out, “Fuck, Bucky, just fuck me already, will you?” Bucky huffs a laugh against the back of his neck. 

“So impatient for my cock, baby,” and Steve can feel his grin, but then Bucky is pulling his fingers and covering his cock in the remaining lube. Steve braces himself against the wall, biting down on his arm as Bucky fills him. “You okay?” Bucky asks, and Steve nods. 

“Yeah, feels so good Bucky, fuck, move.” And Bucky does, fucking him slowly at first. But Steve is having none of that, fucking himself back on Bucky’s cock until Bucky grabs his hips and starts fucking him hard and fast. Steve can hear himself making little “uh, uh,” noises as Bucky fucks him, then Bucky changes angle and he cries out as Bucky hits that spot inside of him that makes him see stars. 

He knows he’s not going to last and brings a hand down to stroke himself, shifting so his weight is on the other hand pressed palm to the wall. It doesn’t take much before he’s garbling out, “Fuck, Bucky, feels so good, fuck, gonna come, you’re gonna make me come, oh _fuck_ ,” and coming hard, cock spurting over his hand and the wall in front of him. Bucky thrusts in only a few more times before his hips still and he groans as he comes deep inside Steve. 

Steve laughs happily as Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s waist and kisses his neck. 

“Happy hundredth birthday, old man,” he grins. 

“And fuck you too, Steve,” Bucky laughs.


	7. Sweater Paws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: unapologetic fluff, Bucky has sweater paws, inspired by the RBB group chat and eyesofshinigami talking about sweater paws being cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this fic and then kath-ballantyne made [THIS AMAZING ART](https://velvetjinx.tumblr.com/post/158771941797/kath-ballantyne-velvetjinx-was-talking-about) and I might have cried a little???

Sometimes, after a night full of bad dreams, Bucky gets a chill he can’t seem to shake. When this happens, Steve bundles him up and makes him a hot drink to warm him. 

Last night’s dreams were particularly bad, and Bucky can’t stop shaking, his teeth chattering. Steve goes to the closet and gets the warmest sweatshirt he can find, the one with the overlong sleeves. 

“Arms up,” he tells Bucky, and Bucky does as he’s told, allowing Steve to put the sweater on him. Bucky snuggles into it, pulling the sleeves down over his hands as Steve goes through to the kitchen. He decides on cocoa this morning–the chocolate will help with any residual sadness, Steve knows from experience. 

He makes the cocoa as quickly as he can and takes the steaming mug back through to where Bucky is sitting on the edge of the sofa. He hands him the mug and settles in behind him, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist and settling his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Better?” he asks as Bucky takes a small sip of cocoa. 

“A little.”

Steve looks down at Bucky’s hands around the mug and smiles. “You have sweater paws! You’re so cute.”

“I’m not _cute_ ,” Bucky says with a pout. 

“You are, too! Cute, cute, cu–mmph.” Bucky cuts him off with a kiss, and Steve smiles against Bucky’s mouth. Bucky may not be fully healed yet, but until he is, he has Steve to ward off the cold.


	8. You're All The Things I've Got To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: fluff, Bucky sings eighties Europop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt by thelittleblackfox

Steve’s glad he’s got super strength as he struggles to get his many heavy bags of groceries through the narrow doorway of his apartment. He puts them down gently in the hallway so he can close the door behind him and flexes his fingers, trying to get the blood flowing to his extremities again. 

As he stands there, he hears a familiar tenor coming from the kitchen. Bucky loves to sing, and Steve loves to hear him. What’s not so expected are the lyrics he hears. 

_”I’m stumbling away_  
_Slowly learning that life is okay_  
_Say after meeeee_  
_It’s no better to be safe than sorry…”_

Steve pads silently through to the kitchen to where Bucky is standing at the clothes dryer, pulling laundry out as he sings and wiggles his butt along with the beat. 

_”Taaaaaaake oooooon meeeeeee_  
_Take on me!  
_ __Taaaaaaaake meeeeeee oooooon  
_Take on me!_  
_I'llllllll beeeeeeee gooooooone  
_ _In a day or…twooooooooooo!”_

Bucky turns around as he hits the high note, sees Steve, and his mouth drops open. 

____

“Uh,” he says eloquently. 

____

“Since when did you start listening to eighties Europop?” Steve asks with a laugh. 

____

“It was on the radio?” Bucky flushes. “And, I don’t know, it was catchy.”

____

“You’re fucking adorable,” Steve says, striding up to Bucky and pulling him into a kiss. 

____

“You’re, uh. You’re not gonna tell people about this are you? Because I’ve not heard the last of it from Nat about the ‘no homo’ thing.”

____

“I won’t tell anyone, Buck,” Steve reassures him. “This is too cute to share anyway.”

____

“How many times do I have to tell you, Rogers? I’m not cute!”

____

Bucky’s pout is adorable, and Steve has to kiss it right off his face. 

____

“I’m gonna finish up the laundry, and you should probably put the groceries away,” Bucky says at length, pulling back. 

____

“You gonna serenade me with some more eighties pop hits?”

____

“Bite me,” Bucky says, and Steve laughs. 

____

He’s definitely going to have to buy Bucky a pop CD for his birthday.

____


	9. Antisocial Media

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: social media, Tony is jealous, fluff, ridiculousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt by ladyalycat

“You’re not on Instagram again, are you, Buck?” Steve says with a sigh, as he flops down on the sofa next to his boyfriend. 

“Maybe,” Bucky retorts slightly defensively, angling his phone away from Steve. 

“What are you posting this time?”

“That snapchat picture of the two of us with the dog filter!” Bucky replies excitedly, and Steve narrows his eyes. 

“Oh, come on, Buck, why are you posting so many photos of me?” he whines. 

“Because I love you. You’re the most important person in my life, so what else would I post photos of?” Bucky’s expression is open and sincere, and Steve has to kiss him. 

***

He’s at the Avengers Compound later when Tony approaches him, scowling. 

“Your boyfriend,” he begins, poking Steve in the chest, “keeps posting photos of you on Instagram.”

“I know?” Steve replies, confused. 

“Do you know how many followers he has?” Tony looks like he’s working himself up into a real snit, and Steve resists the urge to take a step backwards. 

“No?”

“Millions! Literally _millions_ of followers. More than me!”

Steve suppresses a smirk. Tony’s ego is clearly smarting from the fact that he’s not as popular as a former assassin on a social media site. 

“What can I say, Tony? He’s just a popular guy.”

And with that, Steve wanders off, leaving Tony with his mouth hanging open. 

***

When he gets home that evening, Steve sits next to Bucky and grabs his phone, opening the camera app as Bucky frowns at him. Steve leans in for a kiss, taking a snap as Bucky moans against his lips. 

“Did you just take a photograph of us kissing?” Bucky asks, pulling away. 

Steve shrugs. “I thought you could post it to Instagram.”

Bucky looks at him curiously. “Why are you so positive about this all of a sudden?”

“Well,” Steve says with a grin, “I had an interesting conversation with Tony today about how many more followers you have than him.”

“And how does he feel about that?”

“Take a guess.”

Bucky laughs loud and long, and Steve smirks. He could certainly get on board with Bucky’s Instagram obsession as long as it annoys Tony. 

He’s looking forward to Bucky posting the most recent picture. Steve’s pretty sure his followers will go through the roof, and Tony’s reaction will be priceless. 

Steve can’t wait.


	10. Grunge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Bucky discovers Silverchair, written because I was listening to Silverchair and thought Bucky would like Frogstomp, fluff, suicide mention tw

“What are you listening to?” Steve asks, pulling one of Bucky’s earbuds out. 

“Hmm? Oh, a band called Silverchair? It’s their first record, Frogstomp,” Bucky replies, hitting the pause button on his iPod and pulling out his other earbud. “It’s kind of amazing–this is the second time I’ve listened to it today.”

“Wow, must be good. Can I see?”

Bucky hands over the iPod, and Steve scrolls through the track listing. 

“ _Suicidal Dreams_ , Buck? Really?” Steve looks worriedly at him. “Are you sure this is healthy?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, Steve. It’s just a song.”

“Where did you hear about it?” Steve asks, handing the iPod back. 

“Natasha. She said she thought I might like it so she put it on here for me.” Bucky shrugs. “She was right. I’m gonna ask her if she’s got any more of their stuff.”

“Hopefully it’s a bit more cheerful.”

“I don’t mind if it’s not. I _like_ sad music, Steve. It’s cathartic. Beside, most of the album isn’t sad. It’s quite heavy; Natasha said it was something called ‘grunge music’? And if I liked it there was a band called Nirvana I needed to listen to?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of them. They’re on my list of things to check out, but I’ve not gotten around to them yet.”

“Maybe we can listen to them together?” Bucky says, almost shyly, and Steve smiles. 

“Yeah, Buck. I’d like that.”

Steve lifts his arm and Bucky snuggles into his side, popping his earbuds back in. Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head and smiles. There’s so much for them to discover about the last seventy years. It’s nice that they’ll be able to do some of it together.


	11. You're On My Heart (Just Like A Tattoo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: the boys get tattoos, Natasha is amused, I just got a new tattoo and had to write this, title from Jordin Sparks

“I can’t believe you’re getting tattoos.” Natasha looks over her sunglasses at Steve and Bucky before heaving a sigh. “Although if you _have_ to get my face tattooed on your ass…”

Steve nearly snorts coffee through his nose. “Oh my god, Nat, what the…?”

“Relax, Rogers, I’m kidding,” she says with a grin. “I’d rather you didn’t have my face on your ass, to be honest. What _are_ you getting done?”

“It’ll be a surprise,” Steve replies, smiling softly as he threads his fingers through Bucky’s. 

Natasha looks at them, trying not to smile. “You two are sickening, do you know that? Okay, well, you’d better go since your appointment is soon. Have fun, boys! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“And that leaves what, exactly?” Bucky teases, only just avoiding Natasha’s foot as she kicks out. 

“Okay, okay, we’re going.” Steve leans down to kiss Natasha on the cheek and Bucky does the same. “See you later.”

***

The tattoo parlor is brightly lit and friendly looking, and Steve smiles at the beefy, tattooed guy who strolls up to them. 

“Hey, guys. You here for your twelve p.m. appointments?” the guy asks, and Steve and Bucky both nod. “Awesome. We’re ready for you, so if you wanna come through we’ll start.”

They follow the guy through to the back where there are a few chairs set up. There’s another guy there, just as beefy and just as covered in tattoos, and he smiles at them. 

“Okay, so I’ve got Steve and Clive here has Bucky,” the second guy says. 

Steve sits in the chair next to the guy and the guy leans in. 

“It’s an honor to be doing this for you, Cap,” he says quietly, before winking. Steve grins at him, surprised. 

“Thank you.”

“So what are we doing for you today?”

Steve tells him, and the guy’s expression softens. “Let’s do it.” 

The guy–who introduces himself as Richard–draws out what Steve wants as a stencil, then puts it into Steve’s skin. Steve’s both excited and nervous, but he knows it’s gonna be worth it. 

The pain, when it comes, is almost a surprise, but nothing he can’t handle, and soon he’s almost zoning out to the buzzing of the tattoo gun and the feel of the needle in his skin. Richard keeps him chatting, though, and even when it stings it’s nothing compared to what he’s been through, so it’s completely manageable. 

After about forty minutes, Richard pulls back. “All done, Steve. You wanna go look in the mirror?”

Steve does, and he smiles at Richard. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Richard wraps the tattoo and gives him instructions on aftercare, which Steve listens to carefully, before settling in to watch the last fifteen minutes of Bucky’s tattoo. 

Before long they’re handing over their cash and heading out, their clothes covering their new ink enough not to draw attention. Steve links his fingers with Bucky’s metal ones and smiles at him. This was definitely their best idea. 

***

A week later, they’re back in the Avengers Compound for a meeting. They’ve been refusing to let Natasha see what they got done until they healed a bit more, but now seems like a good time. 

They walk into the compound in sleeveless t-shirts, jackets slung over their shoulders, and Wanda whistles at them as they walk in. Natasha runs up to them, looks at their tattoos, and rolls her eyes. 

“What the hell am I going to do with you two?” she asks fondly, as Steve flexes his left arm to show off the red star there. 

Bucky grins, glancing down at the Captain America shield on his right arm. “You don’t like?”

“I think it’s perfect for you two saps,” Natasha retorts, before hugging them both and going to sit back down. 

Steve grins at Bucky. They may be saps, but now he has a piece of Bucky indelibly on his skin. He wouldn’t have it any other way.


	12. A Grave Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My grandmother passed away this week, so I was in the mood to write something a little more maudlin than usual. Not as angsty as I thought it would be, though.

Bucky's got that look on his face, the one that Steve knows well--the one that means he wants to ask Steve something but isn't sure if he should. Steve knows Bucky won't say anything if Steve just blurts it, so he grabs one of their big fluffy blankets and sits next to Bucky on the sofa, wrapping them both up in it. Bucky looks at Steve suspiciously, but Steve just smiles and kisses him on the tip of his nose, swallowing a laugh when Bucky crinkles his nose. 

“Hi,” Steve says gently. 

“Hey, yourself.”

“So I was thinking,” Steve begins, turning his body to face Bucky, “that you should probably tell me what's on your mind.”

Bucky's mouth drops open. “How do you always know?” he asks, but Steve doesn't plan to give away his secrets, so just smiles enigmatically. 

“Well?”

Bucky sighs, and grabs Steve's hand, threading their fingers together. “I was thinking that maybe it might be time for me to, uh. Visit my parents’ graves,” he finishes quietly. 

Steve looks at him searchingly. “Is this something you want to do, or something you feel like you should do?”

Bucky huffs a short laugh. “A few months ago it would have been something I felt like I should do, but now I think it's the right time. I want to, Steve.”

“Okay.” Steve nods. “We’ll have to find out where it is they're buried, though.”

“I, uh, I already know,” Bucky responds. “I checked already.”

“You want me to come with?”

Bucky nods. “Yeah, Steve. Of course. My folks loved you too, you know that.”

“When do you want to go?” Steve asks, pulling Bucky close against him and kissing the top of his head. 

Bucky plucks at Steve's shirt. “Tomorrow, I think. I want to do it as soon as possible.”

“Okay. We'll stop by the florist on the way there.”

“My ma loved petunias,” Bucky says, his voice slightly thick. 

“Then we'll get some petunias. You wanna get a bunch or a plant?”

“Just a bunch. For now. And my pop, he loved yellow roses.”

“Whatever you want, Buck.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” Bucky asks, eyes bright as he looks up at Steve through long lashes. 

Steve kisses him softly. “I don't know, but it must have been pretty awesome.”

“I guess it must.” Bucky smiles, and when Bucky smiles at him like that Steve knows he'll do anything Bucky wants him to. 

***

They go to the cemetery early, making a stop at the florist first to buy petunias and yellow roses. Bucky leads Steve through the rows of headstones, until they reach a plain headstone. He places the flowers beside the headstone, which reads: “Sacred to the memory of George Barnes, loving husband and father, and of Winifred Barnes, devoted wife and mother”. 

“Hey, ma. Hey, pop. Sorry I haven't been around before now,” Bucky says quietly. “I've been dealing with a lot of stuff. But I miss you both so much, and I'm sorry I didn't come home to you. I know you were told that I died, but I didn't. They took me, and they made me do things that…” Bucky breaks off and takes a deep breath, as Steve squeezes his hand. “Anyway, I'm home now, with Steve, and he takes good care of me. We're taking good care of one another, like we always did. I love you both so much--”

Bucky's voice cracks, and Steve pulls him into a hug. Suddenly, Bucky freezes in his arms, and Steve pulls back. 

“Buck?”

He follows Bucky's eye line, and sees another headstone. 

“In loving memory of James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, beloved son, taken too soon”. 

“Shit. Buck, are you okay?”

Bucky closes his eyes briefly. “Just take me home, Steve.”

Steve nods, and leads Bucky out, towards home, back to the living. 

***

Bucky has nightmares that night and wakes up sobbing. Steve holds him tightly until the tears ease off and he pulls away, grabbing a tissue to wipe his nose. 

“You okay, Buck?” Steve asks softly. 

“I will be,” Bucky replies, snuggling into Steve's side. “Today was tough, and I don't know if I can go back, but I'll be okay.”

Steve wraps his arms around Bucky and doesn't allow himself to sleep until he hears Bucky's breathing deepen and even out. Only then does he let himself drift off into an uneasy slumber, but if he dreams he doesn't remember.


	13. JD and Unicorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets drunk and Steve takes his inebriated ass to a petting zoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to buckities for the prompt!
> 
> 2) "please, buck, let's just leave?" "no, steve, wait - i like this unicorn. i feel i could befriend this unicorn."

Steve was starting to regret his decision to bring Bucky to a petting zoo. He had thought it would be a good idea--animal therapy was supposed to be good, right?-- but now he realized that when Bucky Barnes was involved, maybe not so much. Partly because they seemed to be the only adults unaccompanied by a child, and they stuck out like a sore thumb, but partly-- _mostly_ \--because he and Bucky had gone to the a bar first and sat outside in the sunshine with beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Unfortunately, as Steve had discovered, although whatever had been in his own superserum seemed to negate the effects of alcohol, the same was not true for Bucky. At all. 

_Well,_ Steve thought to himself as Bucky nearly stumbled over yet another stroller, _you know what they say about assuming._ It was kind of endearing, in a way, watching Bucky wander around, cooing over the animals in a way that Steve was pretty sure he would never have done if he was sober. Mostly, though, drunk Bucky was _annoying as shit_. 

Finally, Steve’d had enough, and tried to drag Bucky away from the paddock he was currently in front of. 

“Can we go yet?” Steve asked, refusing to believe that his voice sounded that much like a whine. 

Bucky shook his head. “Nope. Having fun.” He stepped towards the fence and stumbled over a rock, twirled around like a ballerina, then fell ungracefully onto the fence. One of the animals came trotting over to see what was happening. 

“Please, Buck, let's just leave?" 

Bucky steadied himself as the animal in question nuzzled his hand. "No, Steve, wait--I like this unicorn. I feel I could befriend this unicorn."

Steve stared at Bucky. “Buck. That's a horse. Not a unicorn,” he said slowly, trying not to let the hysterical laughter that was threatening bubble out. 

“Shut up, it's totally a-- _whoa, Steve, where did its horn go_?”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay, Buck. If you come with me now, we can get ice cream on the way home.”

Bucky snatched his hand away from the horse and looked eagerly at Steve as the horse whinnied in disgust and turned its back on them, trotting back across the paddock. 

“Chocolate ice cream?” Bucky asked hopefully, and Steve smothered a grin. 

“A big tub of chocolate ice cream for us to share, okay? But we have to leave now or they might not have any left in the store.”

Hilariously, this logic worked on Bucky, who nodded eagerly and followed Steve out the petting zoo. Steve took his hand, more to make sure he didn't wander off than any other reason. But Bucky clumsily linked their fingers together, grinning toothily, and Steve felt his heart leap. 

Bucky was a nightmare in the store because in his inebriated state he seemed to feel like he had to touch _everything_ in the whole damn place. Steve guided him towards the freezers and picked out a tub of the chocolatiest ice cream they had, then dragged him to the counter to pay. 

When they got back to the apartment and Steve could relax, since there was only so much damage Bucky could do there, he grabbed two spoons from the kitchen drawer and they sat together on the sofa to eat. True, Bucky got about as much ice cream on himself as he did in his mouth, but when he leaned over and kissed Steve with a chocolatey mouth neither of them really cared. When Steve finally pulled back, Bucky smiled sleepily at him, and promptly flopped backwards and passed out on the sofa. 

Steve looked fondly at his boyfriend, before taking the half empty tub of ice cream and the spoons to the kitchen, and covering Bucky with a soft blanket. 

***

It was about two hours later that Steve, sitting in the armchair, heard a low groaning from the sofa. He looked up and saw Bucky trying to sit up. 

“Jeez, Steve, did I get hit by a truck?”

Steve's lips twitched. “Uh, no, but you did drink half a bottle of Jack Daniels which, by the way, might I suggest you not do again?”

“You got that right. Ugh, my head.” Bucky blinked a few times, then stretched. “I gotta go piss,” he announced, staggering up and out to the bathroom. 

A few minutes later, Steve heard a yell. He dashed through to the bathroom, where Bucky was standing in front of the mirror. 

“What is it?”

Bucky gestured to the ice cream stains all down him. “What the fuck, Steve? Did a five year old feed me ice cream or something?”

Steve grinned. “Something like that. Come on. Wash your face and go change your shirt, and I'll make us some dinner.”

Bucky nodded, water already running, and Steve meandered through to the kitchen, humming to himself. 

He'd wait until later to show Bucky the photos Steve had uploaded to his Instagram account.


	14. Natasha's Useful Beauty Tips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve cuts his finger while making dinner. Bucky's response is... unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to buckities for the prompt--this one was: 1) 'nail polish isn't only for nails, rogers. its name is... misleading.'

It had been a lazy day, mostly spent snuggling on the sofa watching movies, but Natasha was coming over for dinner and so eventually Steve sighed. 

“I'd better start cooking,” he said with a yawn, stretching his arms above his head as he stood. 

“That's right, wife,” Bucky responded, slapping Steve's ass hard enough to make Steve yelp. “Get in the kitchen and make my dinner!”

“Oh my god, Buck, you're such a dick.” Steve tried to keep the fondness from his tone but wasn't sure he'd been entirely successful when Bucky grinned at him. “Just for that you can help.”

Bucky groaned, but got up and followed Steve through to the kitchen. He was only making lasagna, nothing fancy, but four hands were better than two. 

The only problem with having Bucky ‘help’, however, was that he was pretty distracting, especially given that the jeans he was wearing were pretty tight and showed off his ass perfectly. Especially when he turned on the radio and started dancing around the kitchen, wiggling said ass to the beat. 

Steve, who was in the middle of chopping onions, glanced over at Bucky's antics and his knife slipped, glancing off his finger. 

“Ouch, fuck!”

“Steve? What's wrong?” Bucky rushed to his side, and Steve held out his finger. The cut was shallow, but already welling up with blood, and Steve sighed. 

“Get me a band-aid, will you?”

“We’re out of band-aids.” Bucky frowned. “But I have a better idea. Hold on.”

He rushed out of the room, and returned with a small bottle. Steve stared at it. 

“Buck--is that _nail polish_?” he asked, confused on many levels. “Why have you brought me clear nail polish? I cut my finger; I don't need a manicure.”

Bucky grinned. “Nail polish isn't only for nails, Rogers. Its name is... misleading.”

“Right. And you have some why, exactly?”

“For just such an occasion as this. Now gimme your finger and hold still.”

Steve shrugged and did as he was told. Bucky shook the bottle and opened it, then painted some of the clear liquid over Steve's cut. 

“Ow! Motherfucker. Buck, that stings!”

“Oh, shush, you big baby. Leave it to dry and it'll bind the edges of the cut together and stop the bleeding! And you don't have to worry about your skin getting gross underneath it like you do with regular band-aids.”

Steve looked at his finger. It had already stopped stinging, the blood was no longer flowing… maybe Bucky had something here. 

“Buck?”

“Mhm?”

“Where did you even hear about this?”

“Natasha,” Bucky said simply. “She swears by it.”

“Natasha. Of course.” Steve sighed. “Well, while this dries you can carry on chopping the onions.”

Bucky huffed. “Fine. But I expect a reward later.”

Steve crowded into his space and nuzzled the sensitive spot behind Bucky's ear, making him shiver. “How about when Natasha is gone I take you to bed and show you _exactly_ how grateful I am?”

Bucky turned his head and captured Steve's lips in a kiss. The kiss deepened quickly, and Steve was reconsidering the “later” portion of his promise when the doorbell rang. 

“Hmm, that'll be Natasha.” Bucky pulled back. “I'll get the onions, you get the door.”

When he opened the door, Natasha grinned at him and thrust a bunch of flowers into his arms. Steve raised an eyebrow, and she laughed. 

“Don't worry, I brought wine too.” She kissed him on the cheek and pushed past him inside, then stopped and sniffed. “Why can I smell nail polish?”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Apparently you told Bucky that clear nail polish was a good alternative to band-aids, so when I cut my finger earlier that's what I got.”

“It's great, right? I swear I always carry a bottle with me. Plus you never know when you'll need a touch up.” She wiggled her perfectly manicured nails at him, and he grinned. 

“That's not really a problem I'm gonna have.”

“Aww, Rogers, you mean you're not gonna come with me to get mani-pedis? I'm disappointed.”

“I'll come with you,” Bucky interjected, popping his head out the kitchen door. Steve shot him a look. “What? I'm comfortable enough in my own skin that I could totally rock a manicure. C’mon, Steve. Live a little.”

Steve sighed. “Fine. But you go first, Buck.”

Bucky and Natasha grinned at him, and Steve wondered, not for the first time, why he had ever introduced them. Separate they were bad enough; together, they were a menace. 

Still, Steve mused as they sat down to dinner later, it could be worse. And he was definitely going to make sure that Bucky “accidentally” got his nails painted purple. 

Steve might even get pink to match.


	15. Donut Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is hungry--one of the perils of being a genetically enhanced super-soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckities's third and final prompt: 3) "you took my WHAT?! did you hear that? that was the sound of my heart breaking."
> 
> Thank you for all the prompts, lovey!! ❤️❤️❤️

The absolute pain in the ass about being a genetically enhanced super soldier, Steve mused as he raised the kitchen cupboards, was that he metabolized food quickly so he was _always fucking hungry_. 

He made himself a cheese and ham sandwich, which he wolfed down, but he was still hungry. He glanced around, and his eyes fell on the box of donuts Bucky had bought the previous day. There was one left--blueberry flavored. Bucky's favourite, that Steve guessed he had saved for last. 

His stomach growled. 

Two minutes later, he was feeling guilty as hell, with blueberry donut crumbs all over his mouth. He reasoned that he could easily get more, but his conscience pricked at him. If he left now, maybe he'd be able to replace it before Bucky even got--

He heard the apartment door opened and Steve sighed. Oops. 

Bucky danced into the kitchen, smiling sunnily. He hadn't had a nightmare in a week, and he'd been super chirpy in a way Steve hadn't seen since they were kids. It was kind of awesome, but Steve was keeping his fingers crossed that the bubble didn't burst any time soon. 

Completely oblivious to Steve's internal shame, Bucky skipped over and kissed him on the lips. 

“Steve, oh my god, wait until you see the fresh strawberries I found at the market, they look so amazing…” He trailed off, licking his lips. “You taste like blueberry. Why do you taste like blueberry?”

Fuck. “Okay, Buck, don't get mad, but I kinda… ateyourblueberrydonut,” he said in a rush. 

Bucky stared at him, his face falling. He looked like Steve had stolen his puppy. “You took my _what_?! Okay. Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking." Bucky clutched dramatically at his chest, and Steve felt rotten. 

“I know, and I'm sorry. I was just so hungry. But I was just gonna run to the bakery around the corner and get you another one!”

Bucky gave him an assessing look, then shook his head. “No, Steve, this is a pretty heinous crime. I think you should get me a dozen.”

“A dozen?”

Bucky nodded. “A dozen blueberry donuts to make up for stealing my last one.”

Steve sighed. “Fine. I'll be right back.”

Bucky smirked as Steve left the apartment, and headed down to the bakery. Luckily the blueberry donuts were plentiful and freshly made, so he bought the dozen and went back to the apartment. 

When he arrived back, Bucky was sitting on the sofa, a punnet of strawberries on the table. Steve could see beads of water on them, and figured Bucky had washed them. 

“You get my donuts, punk?”

Steve smothered a grin. “Yeah, yeah, I got your damn donuts. You gonna eat them now?”

Bucky shook his head. “Come sit with me.”

Steve put the box of donuts in the kitchen and went back through to sit next to Bucky. Bucky picked up a fat, juicy strawberry and bit off the tip. 

“Close your eyes,” he murmured, and Steve did as he was told. He felt Bucky smear the cold, sticky fruit over his lips, but before he could lick them clean Bucky was there first, licking his way into Steve's mouth. Steve moaned into the sweet-flavored kiss, and Bucky pulled back, grinning. “We've a whole punnet of these, Steve. What do you think?”

Steve leaned in to kiss Bucky again. “I think,” he muttered against Bucky's lips, “that I want your mouth on my cock right now.”

He got up and took a few steps towards the bedroom, before turning back towards Bucky. 

“Oh, and Buck? Bring the strawberries.”


	16. All American Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a birthday treat for Steve.

“I can't believe I'm ninety nine,” Steve whined at Natasha as she dragged him around the store shopping for fireworks. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, you're old and decrepit and you can't get it up without medical aid any more, I get it.”

Steve glared. “I can get it up _just fine_ , thanks.” His eyes narrowed and he grinned wickedly. “I mean, have you seen Bucky's ass? One look at that and I'm--”

“I really don't need to hear anything about your sex life ever, thanks, Rogers,” Natasha interrupted, looking appalled. “You're shutting up now and we're never speaking of this again.”

They managed to buy a ton of fireworks without further incident, and Natasha took him back to his apartment before leaving to take the fireworks to the compound where they would all meet later to celebrate. 

“Honey, I'm home!” he called out. 

“In the bedroom!” he heard Bucky shout, and wandered through curiously. 

The sight that met him had his eyes wide and his cock hard in seconds. Bucky was lounging on the bed, naked except for Steve's backless blue panties. 

“Thought I'd give these a go,” Bucky said huskily, and Steve almost fell over in his rush to strip off. Naked, he crawled into the bed, kneeling on all fours over Bucky and leaning down to kiss him while massaging Bucky's cock through the panties. 

Bucky moaned, his hips coming up off the bed, and Steve slid his hand underneath to slide his fingers between Bucky's asscheeks, caressing his hole and finding it already slick. 

“Fuck, Bucky, you get started without me?” Steve murmured against his lips. 

“Wanted to be all ready for you. Happy birthday, baby.”

Steve grabbed the lube off the side and slicked his cock, before pushing three fingers inside Bucky. Bucky bit his lip and groaned, then cried out as Steve crooked his fingers against his prostate. 

“Steve, you fucking tease, get your cock in me right now I swear to god…”

“Hush, baby, I've got you,” Steve said softly, pulling out his fingers and starting to push his cock inside. Bucky gasped and clawed at his back as Steve slowly filled him, then hooked Bucky's knees with his elbows, bending him almost double. 

“Fuck, baby, your ass looks so good in those panties with my cock inside you,” Steve moaned as he began to fuck him. 

“Oh, fuck, Steve, feels so fucking good, the panties are rubbing against my cock, just fuck me harder and get me off, _please_!”

Steve did as Bucky asked, fucking him harder and faster. Bucky brought a hand down to press at his cock through the panties, occasionally stroking the head which was poking through the top, pressed flat against his stomach by the waistband. 

Steve looked down to watch his cock disappearing inside Bucky's tight ass and bit his lip. 

“Fuck, not gonna last.”

“That's okay, baby, me either, just keep fucking me, ah, god…”

Steve shifted his hips slightly and Bucky gave a cry as Steve started to hit his prostate on every thrust, making his cock jump and leak against his stomach. Bucky slid his hand under the waistband of the panties, jerking himself in time with Steve's thrusts. 

“Fuck, Steve, I'm almost there, baby, almost there, keep fucking me, oh god, I'm coming, gonna come, _Steve_!” and he came hard, come splashing up his stomach and chest. 

Steve tried to hold on but Bucky's muscles squeezing around his cock proved to be too much stimulation and his hips stilled as he came with a groan. 

He stayed there briefly, feeling the sweat cooling on his skin, before pulling out carefully and flopping down beside Bucky. Bucky turned to him and pulled him into a kiss. Steve kissed back hungrily, hand stroking down Bucky's back to his asshole, finger swirling in the come dripping out of him before pushing a single finger back inside. 

“Hmm, fuck, Steve, I'm not up for another round yet,” Bucky said with a laugh which turned to a moan as Steve began to stroke that spot inside of him. 

“You will be by the time I've finished with you,” Steve responded, his tone a promise. 

“Nngh, fuck, yeah. Happy birthday, baby.”

Steve kissed him again. “Yeah. Happy birthday to me.”


End file.
